Alfie and Annabelle

Jake burst through the door, excited to tell his mum that he was the diamonds house captain. When he went into the living room his mum was sat shocked to death. He looked around there were shadows running across the wall. When he looked in the corner there were two red eyes staring at him what is that. He screamed and ran out the house. Quickly he phoned the police and they arrived. They went into the house, two hours later, they had not come back out. confused he went into the house and was never seen again in history……

2 thoughts on “Alfie and Annabelle

  1. Hi Alfie and Annabelle
    Oh dear, what started out as a normal day has turned into a very worrying one! You use some good words to describe the scene – shadows running across the wall, and shocked to death. Mrs Page is right – don’t forget to use speech marks for direct speech.

  2. I like your phrase ‘shadows running across the wall’, very creepy image. Next time check your punctuation, should what is that have been in speech marks?

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