Ben Wood and Finn Mcsweeney

It was a cold, damp afternoon in the dark gloomy December. It was slippery underfoot; the streetlights shimmered through the darkness. Jack and Toby were talking about Toby’s Mum’s baby. All too soon Jacks Mum came to pick him up, it was bedtime. Torn from his sleep, Jack heard sirens all around him, flashing lights covered his room. Alarmed, he raced towards the window. He saw a women being carried on to an ambulance. Slowly the majestic cry of the small van drifted off. The next morning, Jack’s Mum received a phone call saying Toby’s Mum had a baby! It was a new start for them all!

3 thoughts on “Ben Wood and Finn Mcsweeney

  1. Well done Ben and Finn. This is a great piece of writing, and you keep your reader guessing until the end what is happening. I am very impressed with the way your sentences begin. Using verbs and adverbs to start your sentences is a sign of a good writer, and I see that you have used some more complicated time connectives as well to keep your reader engaged.

  2. This is a good story and has got lots of good words 🙂 Olivia

    I love this story , you used lots of adjectives and i like the bit that sais it was slippery under foot 🙂 🙂 Nadia

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *